Bout Dat Xperience

Dear Diary, After a recent stint of events its been brought to my attention that I'm an extremely emotional guy! Now I don't have a problem with it but I understand that as a male there is a strong expectation on the "machismo" that we show. When I think back as early as I can remember my sensitivity has always been there, I have a big heart and really feel pain for others. I recall the first time I went Jamaica with my family I was probably around 8 years old we stayed in the country with our native family which was an experience in its own in terms of how they lived without the luxuries we're fortunate to have. On one particular me and my cousins were told that a goat was going to be killed for dinner and we could watch. My initial response was that of feigned exasperation, maybe I was going with the excitement of everyone else but not knowing what to expect I stood by distantly. It started with the kid (baby goat) being tied at the ankles then hung from a tre...

Dear Diary, Today I was in a bit of a somber mood once again after a day of long work I found my self pondering on whether to go out which would probably be an unfulfilled night. I found myself feeling sorry for myself that I'm home alone and in a sense lonely. So what do you do at that point, drink? smoke? no you turn to the main man JC... Yes that's right you break out some mood music and in this case it was the Outlaw Johnny Cash! As I listened to the appropriately titled "Hurt" the lyrics stuck out like a 3D Movie "Everyone I know, goes away in the end".. Although I have listened to this particular song so much times at this point what resonated was the correlation between what Cash sung about and my life. It got me thinking of past relationships I've had and when I say relationships that also includes platonic. Friendships that seemed to fade away into mediocrity then finally nothing. The commonality being people I cared a lot for in the past aren...

Okay here we go groovemiesters, Been a while since I've put together an open blog this one I'd like to call "Affairs Of The Heart". Now I'm sure a lot of you may know from my past blogs, poems, or songs even, that I'm a pretty deep and open hearted guy and a lot of the FACTS of my relationships can be found amongst them, but for those that don't know I'll go into a quick catch up. As much as I hate the terrestrial term "ex" I haven't found or conjured up a suitable replacement term (any suggestions welcomed). See my problem with that term is it demeans the relationship you once had. Understandable in some cases but often down to miscommunication, lack of empathy, ego, fear etc you can become estranged from somebody you still care a lot about. Then down to whatever reason they are now classed as merely an "Ex". Well before I go off topic it does bode relevance as after an conversation with a friend of mine today, an issue w...

Hello warlocks! With my ex's birthday soon approaching (n.b. not the aforementioned douche bag one from my previous blog), had me spending the better parts of last week looking for elaborate gifts, from personalized plaques of the poem i wrote to crystal to jewelery etc then i had a realization that like a sucker i'm still here ready to be "that guy" so to speak, not even about the money or making an impression but being a giving person especially when it comes to people i care for.. then but thinking about it again i dont want to do something that isnt fully understood or appreciated and looked at as doing the usual impressionable thing like i'm known for and have her family thinking wtf this guy is sprung lol.. ah who know but i got mad love for her still and am willing to show that but i refrained from even getting a card due to the face she may not understand it she may think im trying to win her back or im a pyscho stalker so i will continue my own path and ...